Oliver Payne

• RT @TimHarford: The ten best jokes of the Fringe - http://goo.gl/nctC (You got two in top 10 @GaryDelaney ) #
• Day One of writing an unsolicited book proposal *documenting publishers of similar books* *lost in a blizzard of submission guidelines* #
• @TimHarford *grimace* Can you dispense knowledge my way? Do you have suggestion for publishing agent similar to your genre? *long, low bow* #
• [@jeremylangmead: What do you think of Kanye West?..] Lacking humanity: defined only by his success, rather than illuminated by it. #
• @TimHarford Thank you - much obliged. Luck needed it seems (as well as brilliance, clarity of thought, application… *collapses*) in reply to TimHarford #
• Google’s lost it: I’m looking for ‘Daga Roba, Ethiopia’, and it asks me if it’s “near Bang Krang, Muang Nonthaburi, Nonthaburi, Thailand” #
• Oh dear: Depressing chain-letter type tweets appearing. If you hate them, please #retweet *obvious joke face* #
• *opens trashy magazine for the 1st time in half decade* “Breakcation - enjoying holidays apart” *closes trashy magazine for another 5 years* #
• @indiaknight Christ! I’m just coming out of a 5 yr relationship and I READ ALL THESE UNSPOKEN RULES!!! #dealbreakers *Joins monastery* #
• @mrstrefusis Novelty tie, no: Think I’m doing OK all things considered. (totally agree with holding pen as knife cf. @jojomoyes @salihughes) in reply to mrstrefusis #
• .@indiaknight re: fingernails/cutting:agree. #dealbreakers must be systemic, not symptomatic.(Thinks apple core in car OK, rather than lazy) in reply to indiaknight #
• @jojomoyes We ALL are I’m sure! Although I’m doing rather well, so feeling emboldened. *makes ‘I am 90% #dealbreakers free’ badge* in reply to jojomoyes #
• #dealbreakersformen ‘I don’t know, what do you think..?’ ARRGGHHHHHH #
• @mrstrefusis Giving myself leeway for the foundation #dealbreakers :Politics, Dog/Cat.At the mo I’m 100% clean! @jojomoyes @indiaknight in reply to mrstrefusis #
• [RT @alexabrown: @indiaknight Professing to be in love with you but never letting you finish a...] sentence? #dealbreakers #
• Giving cars names #dealbreakersformen #
• The way #dealbreakers is going, I get the impression that anyone WITHOUT a deal-breaking habit, would also be a deal-breaker. *shakes head* #
• lying about how much clothes/shoes/bags cost #dealbreakersformen #
• .@rorysutherland Bears is a bit freaky! Never come across it thankfully. TOTAL #dealbreakersformen though. in reply to rorysutherland #
• Actually, I think there’s only 3 #dealbreakersformen : Cuddly toys, lying about cost of clothes/shoes/bags, and not initiating sex. Done? #
• So poor it’s brilliant CV - mon Curriculum Vitae animé D.ASMAR (CVDA) http://ow.ly/2tUho #
• @jeremylangmead Croydon? in reply to jeremylangmead #
• @indiaknight Double Dutch. Hence the puzzlement. in reply to indiaknight #
• @RedFraggs Lovely pic! in reply to RedFraggs #
• Channel 4 is too shouty at the moment - can someone nudge me when they put all the past winners back in? Ta. #
• @RedFraggs Oh don’t be silly! in reply to RedFraggs #
• YES #ubb The idiot’s in! #
• Lee Evans getting the biggest TV audience he’s had in years… #igiveiti5minutes #
• .@ScottSeaborn you’re not comparing like-for-like though: mobile devices vs PCs. OR sites visited across all devices. Can’t mix them up… in reply to ScottSeaborn #
• For Your Eyes Only (& yours, & yours…)[RT @carrozo: Google search "This Document is Confidential" on .gov.uk (787)http://bit.ly/aIwIMo #
• @jojomoyes DON'T MOVE A MUSCLE. RIng them. Don't send emails with bank details. It's never needed. in reply to jojomoyes #
• "The Navy wanted 6 ships. The economists wanted 4 ships. We finally compromised on 8" Winston Churchill, early 1900's #
• RT @TIME: The words and phrases you are using incorrectly | http://su.pr/19GfMf #
• @sirich well, quoting rather than retweeting! Churchill spent 1 hour writing every 1 min of oratory: I am spreading pumchy content in reply to sirich #
• @sirich (btw... Bacon has an fb page?) #lolzcopterrolfcanhazcheeseburger in reply to sirich #
• @salihughes Oh SHE passed with flying colours - it's the others I'm not sure are mad enough... oh #wrongendofthestick #onpurposeforcheapjoke in reply to salihughes #
• Keep hearing Radio4's show 'Crossing Continents' as 'Cross Incontinence': Expecting angry bedwetters. #
• Tree just fell over in the garden. Much excitement (from me). Rain flooded river and undercut the tree on the opposite bank. That is all. #
• @SarahDobbs URL shortners in reply to SarahDobbs #
• @jojomoyes @EmmaK67 @jenniferehle Saw pitch at Rathbones for micro-lending proj. Lend>women=good, >men=bad. Men good in structured work only in reply to jojomoyes #
• @mrstrefusis Am chain-eating Continental Almond Thins. This is your fault! (bought for aborted high tea visit, lol). nom nom nom nom... in reply to mrstrefusis #
• @jojomoyes yes seems to be. Fascinating insight from a micro-lending company. There's Zoopa for 1st World lending too, if so inclined. in reply to jojomoyes #
• "I like the [American] South - but of course, I’m prejudiced” Emo Phillips #
• @jimmygilmore I don’t understand Jimmy - what do you mean? in reply to jimmygilmore #
• @jimmygilmore Oh I see, yes. I’m guilty of bashing the South without ever living there - although bashing vicariously through Emo Phillips. in reply to jimmygilmore #
• @mrstrefusis THe rain made a tree fall over in our garden! Big cracking noise and everything. *boy face* in reply to mrstrefusis #
• @mrstrefusis well, oddly not as much rain as I’ve seen. The prob is it’s been so dry. The ground shrank, and is now engorged inconsistently. in reply to mrstrefusis #
• @mrstrefusis HOOT! Yes, taken out of context those words have a whiff of the Bill Clintons about them. (Could’ve phrased that better…) in reply to mrstrefusis #
• .@indiaknight: @salihughes @jojomoyes @hencehemmo *turns up in a campervan* *adjusts ‘further’ sign on sun visor* #
• @Rylie83 what is back? In your heeed. in reply to Rylie83 #
• I love that @BritishMonarchy still isn’t following anyone. Please don’t change. #
• @Rylie83 still uploading.. but won’t be long. #
• @indiaknight Q: What was the worst thing about the Mrs Doubtfire costume? in reply to indiaknight #
• .@ndiaknight @hugorifkind You’re thinking of Old Spice - Robbie never slept with her. (Wayne Rooney did, though.) #
• what a waste of a day. #
• He’s doing that weird stuff again! “@50cent: The return of Saddam Fuck around if you want to http://twitpic.com/2irmvp” #
• @mrstrefusis Yes! Good lad. White is ALL colour. AND, object green, is in fact everything BUT green, as it absorbs all other colours in reply to mrstrefusis #
• @LibertyLndnGirl Why not try twitter dating then? lol #halfjoking in reply to LibertyLndnGirl #
• @VictoriaCoren Is it your money you’re betting? How does it work… in reply to VictoriaCoren #
• RT @adbroad: Brand manager’s dream. New app simulates creative dept. For each assignment–200,000 comps http://nyti.ms/bHwqkK #
• @Herring1967 yes , he’s overuled often. It seems he has the casting vote in a tie in reply to Herring1967 #
• “@DrSamuelJohnson: Fully 2 in 5 of Britain’s Youths do work on Admission to University; I counsel them to work on their HARMONICKS” #xfactor #
• Malaria on next singing a Sleeper song? #xfactor #
• .@mrstrefusis [RT @SIRJoshuaToThee: I Haunt anon @polposoho 's Attracktive Younger Sister POLPETTO. Toute la est Calme, Luxe et VOLUPTÉ.] #
• @mrstrefusis we shall go. you gave dates, i did in reply to mrstrefusis #
• @mrstrefusis <strike>did</strike> must check and get the diary done. Going to the party conferences - I got invited thru Think Tank in reply to mrstrefusis #
• @mrstrefusis Diary a bit bleugh what with the impending DOOM of moving, and all that that entails *sadness* in reply to mrstrefusis #
• @mrstrefusis Yes - totally excitied. Miss the Cons one though - workerising. You are de-holiday-ed now? in reply to mrstrefusis #
• @markwnek That’s a looonngg flight though huh? Are you sorting a new gig over there? in reply to markwnek #
• Fallen angels or risen apes? (Creationists can #unfollow now) “William H. Calvin’s A BRIEF HISTORY OF THE MIND (2004)” http://ow.ly/2wnXT #

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